I just sold my Bored Ape (#3707) today for $37,000. I bought it for $425,000. That’s almost a $400,000 hole in my chest, and honestly, it feels deserved. Here’s the story: Three years ago, I told myself I wasn’t just “buying a jpeg.” I was buying culture. I was buying access. I was buying a ticket to the “future of the internet.” Today, that “future” looks like me sitting in a Buffalo Wild Wings in Paramus, NJ, with three grown men in faded BAYC hoodies, watching a muted TV play highlights from a lacrosse game none of us cared about. One guy kept showing me his “newest pickup”—a Polygon frog with laser eyes that he swears is “the next BAYC.” He bought 7,000 of them. They’re worth $19. Another guy explained in detail why his girlfriend doesn’t “get NFTs” but actually sleeps in a different apartment. At some point, I suggested we all do the “Ape handshake.” Nobody knew what that meant, so we just sat there in silence, looking at each other, while the waitress asked if we wanted more ranch. That was the moment I knew it was over. I didn’t just lose money. I lost years. I lost hope. I lost the ability to look my accountant in the eye without him audibly sighing. So yeah. The Ape is gone. No utility. No community. No handshake. Just a picture of a monkey that cost me a house.